Heads up, a new update!

Hey fishies, this is ya boy, Fin Venom. Droppin' it like it's hot, it's the latest update from Monday Night Splashdown©. Man, these Riptiders© are going crazy out there, and it's only gonna get hotter from here!

Speaking of hot, we've been getting burned on all these questions you marks are sendin' in! What, it's like youse guys never seen a race before! Here's one from some dude named Nicholas:

"The violence in this latest update has me wondering about whatever health regulations regarding Riptiders. Do said regulations exist? What do they entail? Do they apply to competitors from species with accelerated healing factors? What about on site deaths? Or do you guys have access to cloning and other medical technologies that render such regulations moot?"

What are you, dense? This is Riptiders©, bro! Where the big fishies swim! If they can't handle the water, ya gonna get slaughter'ad! If they can heal, no big deal. If they can't hang, too bad, mang! Of course, scrapes, bruises, and other assorted injuries can happen on the track. That's common in any impact sport. The Ripcurls have a top of the line medical facility that can put back together anyone who still has parts to put together. Sponsors can always spend tha cash to revive a Riptider©, but sometimes it's just cheaper to get a new one. I mean, why waste clams on a loser?

  • Written by Fin Venom
  • Published 6th of May `15